I am the queen of to-do lists.
I started writing down everything from an early stage in my life. Writing became a part of my life. My friends would always see me carrying at least one journal, at least one agenda and also I would save multiple lists on my iPhone.
Every day, I prepare a to-do list for the next day and also every evening I would look to see what I crossed out and what not. I would try to analyze my productivity and my being based on my to-do lists. However, in the last couple of weeks, I realized that I was so busy with planning my day and life that I forgot to „be“. Recently, there were a few major setbacks in my personal life that I could not foresee. I usually measure myself and my days being meaningful or not by what I actually do. Yet, I realized that I had no idea on how to react to the changes, and that has thrown me completely over.
At the end of the day, I crossed everything off my lists but I could not say that this has been a meaningful day for me.
Was I purposeful today to myself and to others?
I have been caught up in doing that I forgot that the most important thing is „to be“. To be and connect to yourself and to connect with others on a deeper level.
It is a journey to remember myself to slow down from time to time and to balance the doing with the being. Instead of getting caught in doing, I want to start to improve the balance with the time that I have to be and the time that I spent in doing.
At the end of the day, happiness is not a to-do list,
it is not a thing.
It is a state of mind.